Meat suit lesson #26: "Life can be a real beach!" OR My thoughts on why counting to 10 is BS

Have you ever been triggered? Yes, of course,, you have. If you’re reading this, you’re likely living your life in a meat suit. And triggers are all part of the meat suit experience. In fact, in a sense they’re a right of passage. An opportunity and invitation to grow. Now here’s another question; Have you ever been triggered and then reacted in a way that you later regretted? Again, of course, you have. You’re not alone. Your triggers are a loud and clear message that there is a part of your personality that hasn’t been addressed. It could be caused by unresolved trauma, or life imbalances, or even something that you don’t realize is a part of you. In my experience, suppressing my triggers only fuelled them more. The pressure built, and they erupted even worse at a later date. Generally resulting in embarrassment, pain, and regret. “WHY COULDN’T I JUST KEEP MY COOL?”

I’ll tell you why. Because I didn’t meet that trigger head-on. I didn’t challenge it. I didn’t address it. I hadn’t learned that lesson and I hadn’t graduated that life class. So some of you are saying, “Great, but HOW do I do that?” Answer: The key is to observe and respond, rather than react.

Now you might be saying, “Well that’s great, but not very practical”. Trust me, I get it. Your colleague just threw you under the bus in a meeting in front of your boss, that jerk clearly cut you off in traffic, your partner left the sink full of dishes… again. That stuff is triggering!! I mean don’t they respect you? Don’t they know that makes you feel unsafe? Don’t they appreciate all you do for them? And here I am, asking you to “observe”. 🤦🏻‍♀️ (That could be triggering for some in itself.) The truth is, yes, I am. But only because when you release yourself from these triggers. You will become SO liberated in life. I promise you. We all have unique triggers in life based on our own personal experiences. While it never bothered me if someone called me “lazy” it drove me nuts when people would comment on how “sensitive” I was. This is because I KNEW I wasn’t lazy, it didn’t trigger me because I was confident it didn’t apply and if someone thought that, they simply hadn’t taken the time to know me. BUT, I felt unbearably uncomfortable with being perceived as sensitive. Or *gasp*, “over-sensitive”. It triggered me when people told me I needed to have a tougher skin or that I needed to care a little less or I just needed to brush things off. Eventually, I recognized this trigger, got curious about what was causing it, and explored how I could perceive that aspect of me in a healthier way. I became comfortable with it, embraced it, and even learned to love this piece of myself. I am a wonderfully SENSITIVE person, and I’ve learned to make it work for me. BUT, there is a step before all that… Yup, back to “observing”. Basically what I mean by this is you need to learn to challenge this part of you by NOT doing what you usually do. You need to break the pattern. I’m sure you’ve heard, “count to ten”, “take a deep breath”, “smile your way through it”, “go for a walk”, etc… They start saying these cliches to us early in life as frustrated toddlers. I’ve heard all of those.. MANY times. And while they may work for some, they did NOT work for me. I think I figured out why. Those tactics were not unique and authentic to me. I didn’t feel like I could “take a walk” in the middle of an Exec meeting, and my deep breaths came across as laboured impatient sighs. If I tried to ignore the trigger I became more aggravated and upset and then would overthink it long after the meeting was over. Sometimes I simply lost my cool, and then regretted it after. I think you need to find something that distracts YOU just enough. For some, it is tapping into sight or sounds around them to briefly change their focus. Think: counting ceiling tiles, or listening to the background hum of traffic and air conditioning units. Other people have shared that a pressure point on their wrist, or feeling the fabric of their clothes helps distract them from triggers. For me, it’s lightly ticking the roof of my mouth with my tongue. Weird? Maybe. But, it’s fairly discreet and the sensation gives me just enough chills to shock me out of going down a rabbit hole of anger, frustration, hurt, fear, or (insert your feeling here). It gives me a very brief moment to observe. And in that moment of observation, brief as it may be I have an opportunity to make a choice. I REGAIN MY POWER OVER THE TRIGGER. I give myself the option to respond rather than feed the trigger, react, and regret. As triggers and less desirable parts of your personality lose power over you, the healthy parts come to the foreground. These triggers and less desirable aspects are powerful and accustomed to getting what they want. When you OBSERVE, you take command and are no longer steered directions you don’t want to go. #meatsuitlessons #triggers #mindfulness #growth #freeyourself